Get on Track and Stay ON!

So, obviously my title suggests something of getting on the right track or path and remaining their.  I recently read scripture from Psalms 50:16-23 which reads:⁶ But to the wicked, God says: 

       “What right have you to recite my laws 
       or take my covenant on your lips?

 ¹⁷ You hate my instruction 
       and cast my words behind you.

 ¹⁸ When you see a thief, you join with him; 
       you throw in your lot with adulterers.

 ¹⁹ You use your mouth for evil 
       and harness your tongue to deceit.

 ²⁰ You speak continually against your brother 
       and slander your own mother’s son.

 ²¹ These things you have done and I kept silent; 
       you thought I was altogether ^[a] like you. 
       But I will rebuke you 
       and accuse you to your face.

 ²² ”Consider this, you who forget God, 
       or I will tear you to pieces, with none to rescue:

 ²³ He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, 
       and he prepares the way 
       so that I may show him ^[b] the salvation of God.”

The beginning of this reading is what really strikes me as a follower of Christ.  Who are we to claim Gods salvation if we continuously sin?  We must take the words and commands of God and somehow weave them into our being so that we can live as he wishes.  To often do I often ask for forgiveness for sin and I find myself in the midst of my sin again?  I am not the only one who struggles with this either.  If we are going to live as Christians me must not be content with being good enough! We must strive to be true and honest in our walk with God!  We cannot continue to fall short!  Now, obviously we will sin; however, we must learn to run from those sins and set our sight on the life that God wants us to live.  

 

 keep each other accountable and encourage one another.

Answers

So today I was reading from Psalms 49:16-19.  The verses read: “Do not be overawed when a man grows rich, when the splendor of his house increases; 17 For he will take nothing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him. 18 Though while he lived he counted himself blessed- and men praise you when you prosper- 19 He will join the generation of his fathers who will never see the light of life.”  

This is the answer to the ever frustrating question “Why do good things happen to bad people,” or “Why do bad things happen to good people.” I find myself mulling over examples of this all the time. Far to often do I feel sorry for myself or simply complain about how bad I have it and how much better others have it when in fact I will always have something that many others don’t or never will.  I have salvation; I have unconditional love, I have eternal life, I have the guiding light of my God!  These things are endless, just as my God is.  I need to learn to find favor in him rather than my accomplishments and gains here on earth.  I could spend my whole life searching for the latest “thing” and eventually find myself unsatisfied or eventually bored.  My God is timeless; he is there through every season.  Even though I may find myself in a dry spell or in the midst of a spiritual stalemate, I will always find my way through.  Its part of growing. We all eventually grow out of materials but God is there to help us grow and will always grow with us.

Anyways, I love you all!

Light up the Darkness

I just want to share a little something before I get into the meat of this post.  I am going to make it a priority to open my bible and take part in a small devotional before I begin to read for my other classes.  I feel that this will definitely help my spiritual life, But also allow my mind to delve into much deeper and more significant thoughts and hopefully will stretch my mind enough to focus better on my school work.  I am more concerned with the spiritual part because I could careless about my school work about 80% of the time I work on it. haha. anyways. This is just something I want to get in the habit of and hopefully follow through everyday!

Anyways, On this first day I read a particular verse from Psalms 43.  It is verse three which reads: “Send forth your light and your truth, Let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.”   Now, before I begin to discuss this I feel that it is critical for me to discuss an issue I have in my reading of the scripture.  I will admit that many times when I read scripture I often feel it can be redundant at times.  Now after the first read of this verse I thought ‘well this sounds typical; it carries a message that I have definitely heard before.’  However, I believe that can be the point of scripture at times.  As human we need constant reminders or a reiteration of something said; otherwise we would naturally forget.  

It is important for us to take scripture and recall upon it and apply it daily; God asks us to “hide his words in our hearts.”  I believe this verse can serve as a reminder, it can light up the darkness that constantly surrounds us.  Times are hard for everyone and we are in the midst of struggles everyday, but the light of God can guide us in order to see the direction that the best solution is in.  If we follow the light and truths we can rest in the midst of Gods presence.  God has a plan and I have been awakened to this recently.  This should be my prayer everyday especially as I walk through this stage in my life.  Uncertainty is all around me; I must believe and call upon the light and truth of God in order to direct me to his presence.   

and now, I am ready to begin my school work.

Come all ye Weary.

I have been sitting in my room tonight playing my guitar and watching hockey.  I am currently stunned at the instability of the Buffalo Sabres and their lack of consistency and depth.  As a result of this- for a second year- the Sabres will not make the playoffs.  That is one thing that is on my mind.  haha

Anyways, on to more important things.  I have been sitting listening to some cd’s that came out my senior year of High School.  This was probably the most important and enjoyable year of my life so far; everything was seemingly perfect that year.  I had found the girl of my dreams.  She understood me, she had the ability to ignore my “flaws” because she loved me.  She made my significants seem insignificant, which humbled me as a person; she made my worries seem petty and trivial.  She was something I trusted and believed in.  

However, College and living at college can distract you from the most important things in life.  I became so overly consumed with who I was supposed to be.   Every night and most of my free time was spent dwelling on the direction my life needed to work towards.  I never gave myself time to remove my mind from the demanding workload to simply relax.  I was constantly in deep thought without a release or a plug to pull to separate myself from the thoughts that continuously wracked my brain.  This resulted in a moment of weakness in which I had to release myself from all responsibility and commitment and Tara and I entered into a “Hiatus.”  This has been a revitalizing period in which I have come to regain my composure and gain confidence in who I am.  I feel good about myself again.  I still do not know what I want to do but I feel that I will find it soon.  

People and the relationships we build are most important and I let myself slightly get away, but I cannot let myself do that again.  I worry to much.  I spend to much time in deep thought instead walking along the shores of refuge and dependability.  I must take what I can handle, and hold onto my strengths.  I thank God for what he has given me.  He knew what I needed, and knows what I need and with that, I can rest peacefully.

Natureism

So, I walking back from class yesterday around 4:30 and the weather was warm and the sky was cloudy but had a streak of blue where the sun was shining through.  I began to think of how beautiful the earth is.  I feel as if we walk through life without fully appreciating all that God has surrounded us with.  The natural world can evoke so much emotion; there is so much depth in the uniform design of it that it can make one smile.  With the warming of the air I feel so much more alive and in tune with life.  

However, I received a text from a good friend (who is not a christian) just explaining how beautiful the weather is.  On my walk back I thought about the statement.  What is seemingly a simple statement regarding the beauty of the weather and creation, actually has more depth when associated or linked to spirituality such as my belief in God.  This world has much to offer us; there always seems to be a unique connection between nature and spirituality.  I was really taken aback by this statement and I just began to reflect on my surroundings and how God has created this for us to survive and ultimately appreciate.  anyways, thank you to that person.  

this has just been a random out-pouring of what happened. i tried to remember my whole thought process to the best of my ability. haha.

late night thoughts

I decided to write as I take a break from my school work.  I still am in the midst of this deep soul searching process.  I find myself very frustrated at myself and just the way things end up in my life.  I have been exhausted by the thoughts that are constantly storming through my head.  I wish I could experience just one moment of clarity; just something to grab on to; something to hold fast to, in order to bring me some sense of hope or confidence.  It has been extremely difficult to keep myself focused on my school work without drifting off into some disheartening thought.  I want to believe that things will be o.k. but I guess I will just have to keep working along and push myself through.

something random.

I read this for my Lit analysis class I thought it was interesting.

It it entitled “Love Calls us to the Thing of This World” by Richard Wilbur

 

The eyes open to a cry of pulleys,

And spirited from sleep, the astounded soul

Hangs for a moment bodiless and simple

As false dawn.

Outside the open window

The morning air is all awash with angels.

Some are in bed-sheets, some are in blouses,

Some are in smocks: but truly there they are.

Now they are rising together in calm swells

Of halcyon feeling, filling whatever they wear

With the deep joy of their impersonal breathing;

Now they are flying in place, conveying

The terrible speed of their omnipresence, moving

And staying like white water; and now of a sudden

They swoon down into so rapt a quiet

That nobody seems to be there.

The soul shrinks

From all that it is about to remember,

From the punctual rape of every blessèd day,

And cries,

“Oh, let there be nothing on earth but laundry,

Nothing but rosy hands in the rising steam

And clear dances done in the sight of heaven.”

Yet, as the sun acknowledges

With a warm look the world’s hunks and colors,

The soul descends once more in bitter love

To accept the waking body, saying now

In a changed voice as the man yawns and rises,

“Bring them down from their ruddy gallows;

Let there be clean linen for the backs of thieves;

Let lovers go fresh and sweet to be undone,

And the heaviest nuns walk in a pure floating

Of dark habits,

keeping their difficult balance.”

Wake up, feel free.

Well, I have been somewhat rejuvenated as of recently.  I don’t want to use winter as an excuse for my mood shifts, but I feel that spring is bringing a new light in my life.  I always find that my heart rests more during the springs months.  It feels as if the weight of life is alleviated and I can function much more freely and with greater enthusiasm.  Spring excites me because of its beauty and freshness.  The cycle of life begins this time of year which in turn correlates to happiness and joy!  I know, I know; I may sound a bit unusual but trust me, its that awesome!

Anyways, I just wanted to share something that has been on my mind for a while.  So far, My year at Brockport has been pretty terrible.  The people I have met here have forever changed me, and I love them to death.  But, I feel as if I have not truly offered them a real representation of myself.  I have slipped into conformity, which is not a place I have gone before.  I feel as if I have lost so many of the characteristics that made me “Brennan Blowers.”  I have noticed this because my girlfriend and I have decided to take a break in our relationship so I can focus on returning to the man I was.  I used to seek God’s will and follow the directions he sent me, but as of late, I have seemed to wander into my own trap which I have felt empty.  I have lost sight of what my faith (christianity) actually means to me.  I have criticized myself for believing, which is not where I should be.  I know God has a plan for me, and I know that where I am right now is not where I am supposed to be.  This past weekend my Father and I had a conversation over a nice, healthy and satisfying meal at Burger King.   For those who don’t know, Father-son conversations between my dad and I usually entail deep spiritual and life lessons. In these  he usually directs me in the right direction and explains situations that he once experienced.  Often they are directly related to a situation I am in at that time.  This time was no different than any other!  My dad never fails me!  hah! Anyways, I know that I was once a loving young man, who loved God and would do anything to direct others into the light that I have found in his love.

Hum

I have started my second semester at Brockport.  I am enjoying my classes thus far, and I am very impressed with the quality of my teachers.  I hope this semester closes much better than last.  

Lately I have rekindled my passion for music.  I have begun to delve into the depths of my soul searching for something to express musically.  Towards the end of my break I worked on drum tracks for my buddies solo record.  I have also returned to my first love of guitar.  Music is such a crucial part of my life and I feel as if I have somewhat departed from it therefore, I am going to force myself to explore more musical avenues such as, different genres, different artists , and also try to learn more about different instruments.   

Anyways, Listen to the band Hum.  I have been listening to them this week and they are exciting.  

 

sorry for this random post, but I also want to get back into writing, so I am going to force myself to write even if its meaningless.

Stay.

Well, I have fully enveloped myself in the indulgences of winter break!  This is the life.  I have spent time home relaxing and resting my mind from the wear and tear of the semester.  Also, I have officially come to the conclusion that I am not a “school person.”  I do not handle the weight of the semester that well. 

Anyways, I have spent some quality time with my buddy Brett who I have not been able to hang with that much.  We have dominated the virtual world of Hockey as we frequent the Playstation 3 and play NHL 09.  All of our games against each other go to overtime or the virtual fan favorite known as the Shootout.  haha.  sorry.  Anyways.  I have just found so much refreshment in this activity.  I don’t know if its from a lack of interest earlier in my life and I am not just getting into it, or if it is some therapeutic device to fully sanctify myself from my home in Brockport.   I guess I will never know.  Ahhh the mysteries of life.  

I have also found sometime to pick up the old beaten six string.  It has been a while since I have actually plucked through its sweet rich sound.  I have missed it dearly and I look forward to actively playing this piece of wood once again.  

On a spiritual level, I also am challenging myself to read scripture much more over this break.  I have gotten away from reading and such while at school simply because of the stack of novels I must read throughout the semester (I know, I know.  Lame excuse).  But, I want to rekindle my spiritual relationship with God and dig into his words and pull something out to inspire me through future semesters and hopefully also ignite the light inside of me so I can be a guide for others.  haha guide, speaking of which I must listen to some of the Careo songs while on break.

 

thank you all, more to come…

brennan